i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
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Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
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My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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