Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
