So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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