I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
