my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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