I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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