Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
