My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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