Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
