fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
