I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
