Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
