This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
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What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
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If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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