fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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