Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
