Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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