awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
