So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
