Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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