Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
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Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I came so hard my ears popped.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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