It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
