I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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