so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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