The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
