Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
