now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize