i love accidental penises.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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