There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
