Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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