and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
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his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm at about main and main street
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
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When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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