I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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