Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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