You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
