I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Please don't give away my fajitas
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
