honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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