Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
