you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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