the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Need sex. Gaining weight.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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