Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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