I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
