it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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