Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
