I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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