girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize