her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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