He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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