Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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