Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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