suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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