I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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