I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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