This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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