she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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