She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
