So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
