You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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