is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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