Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
