Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
