the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
