3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
