I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
